Global Egberi Media International Daily Pidgin Headlines – 26/08/2025

 


🌍 Global Egberi Media International

Daily Pidgin Headlines – 26/08/2025

🚨 BREAKING & GBAS-GBOS

  • Borno Boat Wahala: Three don kpeme, 17 escape as canoe capsize. Na only God dey save who sabi swim for Naija river.

  • Fake Army Major: Dem catch one man wey dey form soldier for Lagos market – oga carry rank for pocket, but e forget say salute no be certificate.

  • Delta Trailer Crash: Trailer waka on top keke, kill 4 people – Nigeria road still dey play rough play.

⚡ GOVERNMENT & POLITICS

  • Power Wahala: Generation still hook for 5,500MW – light dey hide like NEPA transformer.

  • Bayelsa Upgrade: Dem give Bayelsa regulatory power, na like say dem don collect "promotion letter" for energy matter.

  • 13% Derivation: Oil states don breathe small as N611bn ease dem debt – "money dey, but road still resemble cassava farm."

  • Atiku 2027: Baba say e go run again – Atiku no dey tire, na presidential marathon e dey do.

  • PDP Palava: Damagum still dey chair till November – PDP don turn musical chair association.

🎓 SCHOOL GIST

  • FG Launch Portal: Dem don create teacher tracking website – hope say strike no go crash am like JAMB site.

  • ASUU Threat: Union dey warm up strike again – NANS dey vex, say dem fit lock government assets.

  • JAMB Talk: Candidates wey upload WAEC anyhow, make una go re-upload.

  • Jigawa Action: Gov recruit 10,000 teachers – teacher shortage wan reduce small.

💼 BUSINESS & OIL

  • NNPC Cashout: In four months, N20tn enter – marketers dey shout, "refinery dey sleep!"

  • International Gangs: Oyibo thieves dey collect oil from Naija backyard – na real Netflix series.

  • External Reserve: Forecast say e fit reach $45bn – abeg, who go reach am for pocket?

  • Polaris Bank & NCF: Dem dey plant trees, maybe to cover carbon, but also to cover wahala wey dem cause.

🌊 WEATHER & ENVIRONMENT

  • Flood Alert: FG dey shout say 9 states plus 14 communities go soak – better buy canoe now.

  • Rivers Drill: NEMA dey do flood simulation – abeg make e no turn Nollywood rehearsal.

🌐 WORLD TATAFO

  • Tinubu for Brazil: Baba dey flex with President Lula, sign direct flight deal – maybe Brazil jollof rice go enter Nigeria.

  • Israel Cabinet: Meeting dey happen about Gaza matter.

  • Trump: Baba yarn say e fit waka go China – na so old friends dey remember each other.

  • Musk vs Apple & OpenAI: xAI don drag dem go court – tech wahala pass family meeting.

🎤 ENTERTAINMENT & OTHERS

  • Lil Nas X Arrest: Rapper waka naked for LA midnight stroll – Naija mama go say, "na madness dey worry am."

  • 9th National Youth Games: Athletes don land Asaba – town go hot pass suya stand.

  • Osun IGR: Dem double money to ₦54.7bn – na to check say if dem double light too.

⚔️ SECURITY & STREET NEWS

  • Kaduna Police Wahala: Hoodlums thief flagpole – dem wan run election for backyard?

  • Abuja: FCTA scatter 1,000+ shanties – people dey shout "una dey fight insecurity or poverty?"

  • Bauchi: Gunmen kill herder, carry 12-year-old pikin – wahala no dey finish.

  • Lagos Wahala: Louts beat teenager because of pant gist – Naija streets no dey peaceful.

📜 DID YOU KNOW?

  • Volvo create three-point seatbelt, but dem release am free make everybody safe. Volvo deserve "Nobel for kindness".

  • For New Delhi, tree wey fall sick dey enter ambulance – Naija tree dey fall, na carpenter dem call.

📅 TODAY IN HISTORY

  • 1944: NCNC party born – na Herbert Macaulay and Azikiwe be among papa dem.

  • 1768: James Cook waka go Australia – first oyibo to chop kangaroo pepper soup.

💡 DAILY HUMOR QUOTE

"You teach best what you most need to learn." – Richard Bach
👉 Meaning say, if you dey form "sensei" for matter wey dey worry you, na yourself you dey try cure.

✍🏽 By Prince Agbedeyi Odimientimi Desmond
CEO, Global Egberi Media International

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