Thou Shall Not Be Broke: VeryDarkMan vs Pastor Ibiyeomie in the Holy War of Tithes!
Thou Shall Not Be Broke: VeryDarkMan vs Pastor Ibiyeomie in the Holy War of Tithes!
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In the digital coliseum of Nigerian social media, a new gladiator match has emerged—and no, it's not Davido vs Burna Boy this time. It's VeryDarkMan, the fearless and sometimes fearsome critic of societal hypocrisy, versus Pastor David Ibiyeomie, the revered spiritual general of Salvation Ministries—a man known to command both scripture and suits with the same authority.
This week, the ever-fiery VeryDarkMan took a spiritual slingshot and aimed it straight at the pulpit, accusing Pastor Ibiyeomie of weaponizing the Bible—particularly the book of Tithes and Offerings (which may or may not exist in that exact format).
According to VeryDarkMan—who may not have a seminary degree but sure preaches like someone who does—the doctrine being fed to congregants is less “thy will be done” and more “thy money be gone.” He claimed that Pastor Ibiyeomie is twisting scriptures tighter than a Lagos traffic jam and using fear tactics that would make even Nollywood’s best ritual priests nod in approval.
“This man dey threaten people say if you no pay tithe, wahala go jam you. Which Bible be that one? Apostle Paul no drive Range Rover!”
The Offense
VDM’s central claim is that tithing, in Pastor Ibiyeomie’s hands, has evolved from a spiritual act to a mandatory tax—complete with threats of divine IRS audits if you dare to question the system. And if you ever felt afraid to say “I no get money this month,” don’t worry, VDM just said it for the whole nation—with his chest.
The Defense
Salvation Ministries is yet to respond directly, but rumor has it that a “holy rebuttal” is loading… possibly with a matching suit and a few biblical thunderbolts. Church members, meanwhile, are not keeping quiet. One loyal follower posted, “Touch not my anointed and do my prophet no harm!” Another added, “VDM just wants clout—he no know say na heaven go settle this case.”
The Crowd
Spectators on X (formerly Twitter) are split. Team VDM says he’s fighting for the voiceless. Team Ibiyeomie says VDM should focus on his own spiritual life instead of auditing pastors. The neutral folks? They’re just here for the comments and popcorn.
Closing Benediction
This is not the first time a Nigerian cleric has been dragged into the courtroom of online opinion, and it certainly won’t be the last. But this particular bout has raised an important national question: Should spirituality come with a receipt?
While we await heaven’s verdict (or a fiery comeback from Pastor Ibiyeomie), one thing is clear: whether it’s the pulpit or the podcast mic, Nigerians will always defend their truth—even if it comes wrapped in humor, satire, or holy shade.
And in the spirit of offerings, remember: if you laughed while reading this, drop your own “tithe” of applause in the comments.
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